Monday, April 10, 2006
Xtreme Fitness and Bodybuilding Competition
Saturday I went to a fitness and bodybuilding competition for the first time and was disgusted, intrigued, confused, and inspired all at the same time. I'm thinking it can't possibly be healthy to get so dehydrated and to kill off so much subcutaneous fat that you can literally see tiny muscle striations through the skin. And the bottle tan stuff made some of the white competitors look more like big oompa loompas. That stuff must be toxic. Which is worse, a mega dose of D&C Orange #10 or some natural sun rays? Ironically, the event was a World *Natural* Bodybuilding Federation "pro qualifier" regional event in Liberty, Missouri. By "natural," they mean that the competitors achieved their physiques without the use of drugs and certain supplements which the natural bodybuilding leagues prohibit (i.e. ephedra, prohormones, prescription diuretics). And they do a lot of drug testing. But bottle tans are natural? <shrug> The most confusing part was the judging. They would announce the winners and I would be surprised every time. Afterwards, I had to read the judging criteria to even begin to understand the placements. The Fitness model competition was the biggest surprise. Swimsuits and heels. Hair and makeup. And the fitness routines. . . Full splits. Straddle holds. Wow. What an excellent use of electronic music! Now that I've seen the spectacle of self-made freaks lining up and showing off their muscles, part of me wants to lift heavy and see if I could get that chiseled. The part about shaving off all my body hair, painting myself orange, applying body oil, and flexing in lycra skivvies in front of a crowd? Not so much.